Best Anti-Theft Device

I was recently thinking this in my head, “what’s the best way to PREVENT bike theft?” I’m not thinking of bike locks or anything like that, but something that would deter or pretty much have a bike thief completely walk away from the bike and not even consider stealing it. Then I saw this picture on the Interwebs…

bike theft

Hmm, this got me thinking. This HAS to be the best idea ever and guess what, this could totally be used for just about anything that holds value. So all you have to do is get an adult toy, preferably something like the one you see on the photo, but maybe a bit bigger and blacker, then take that and place it on the item(s) you don’t want stolen.

Place it on your car, TV, your expensive pure bred dog, your phone. Heck you can place it on the couch, that way you don’t have to say “SAVE!” All you do is leave it there and no one will take your spot. If you place this toy on your bike, I guarantee you that no one will want to come near it. The natural response when seeing such an item is to back away. Immediately a person’s mind will get flooded with thoughts of nasty things that may have been done with that thing. Another thought is…”is it used?!” Most likely they’ll assume that it has been previously enjoyed before taking on a new purpose in life.

So what’s the take away from this article? Get yourself an adult toy, a few of them and leave them on your valuable possessions and I guarantee that no one will come near it, unless they’re into that sorta thing.

About the author

While these other pansies are riding mountain bikes with their matching spandex and color coordinated...so called KITS...I'm bangin' their wives at home and she just served me breakfast in bed and I washed it down with a cold beer. Enjoy your ride suckas, cuz I know I did!