How Mountain Biking Can Help You Be Cool in the Office

I don’t know what it is, but there’s a certain level of cool that 2 wheels bring to a man or woman that rides them. Think Fonzie, he had a motorcycle, those have 2 wheels, Evel Knievel had 2 wheels and a cape! Anyhow, if you’re a guy or gal that is lacking in the cool factor in your social life, then start riding mountain bikes.

Why? Well it simple really, the 2 wheels help, but when someone asks you at work, “what are you doing this weekend?” You simply say, “I’m going mountain biking.” Those 4 words already have moved you up in the cool status of people around you. But when you say that to your coworker, make sure you look around first, and then say it really loud…“I’M GOING MOUNTAIN BIKING!!!” That way the ladies and the gents can hear you.

Another great option to start looking cool with your mountain bike, is to bring your bike to work on your roof rack. Chicks dig roof racks, heck that’s why Priscilla married me! She liked my 48″ load bars…Anyhow, bring your bike, park your car so that everyone in the office sees it in plain sight. Now you’ll be the topic of conversation through out the day. You’ll start to hear people say, “Did you see Bill in Accounting’s bike? I heard he mountain bikes!” Eh…sounds legit doesn’t it?!

Bringing your soft gear in helps too. Take your hydration pack, set it on your desk and leave it there all day. But towards 4:30pm, go to the kitchen and fill it up. But only fill it up when the kitchen has people in it. Someone will say, “Oh cool, you’re going riding?” But you have to be nonchalant about it and say, “yeah, just going for a little ride, taking a few jumps, doing some downhill.” You have to emphasize that you’re taking jumps and throw in the downhill thing. If they ask you what downhill is, just explain it, but super exaggerate. Describe to them what you’d see in Redbull Rampage.


Now this note is just for the ladies, so all you guys, you might just want to turn away for bit.

OK ladies, just owning a mountain bike automatically makes you cool! Riding a mountain bike gets you cooler status. Being able to pass up guys on the trails makes you marriage material!

If you’re single, this is the best sport to get into. Why? It’s because women are sadly the minority in this world of riding. You have 15 guys on the trail for every woman out there. So that means you can choose who you want to ride with and or date.

But if you’re married, you’ll still be the envy of about 90% of the men out there. Many men would give up a left nut to have their girlfriend or spouse riding with them. This also brings me another topic. Men, if you’re like me and have a wife that rides, make sure you work out and get buff. There will be tons of guys saying HI! to your lady and if they see you roll up right behind her looking all swoll, then they back down. What helps too is putting your arms around her and being attentive to her when you guys are stopped for a break.

Back to the office. One final step in making yourself cool, decorate your work area with mountain bike stuff. Get your computer’s wall paper plastered with some DH dude flying 50 feet in the air, hang posters of your favorite mountain biker-if you don’t know any, just Google “Mountain Bike Downhill.” Watch Youtube videos of mountain biking footage(that’s my favorite channel on Youtube! Leave parts like derailleurs and chains on your desk, use a mug that has some sort of biking label on it. Oh and leave nuggets of dirt clods around your cube that way people will know that you just came back from a ride.

Well I hope that helps you. I’ve written another article that people seem to love called “How to meet chicks while riding.” That article has helped so many of our single riders out there. Check it out, who knows, you may be meeting your future wife!

7 Replies to “How Mountain Biking Can Help You Be Cool in the Office”

  1. I’ve taken it a couple of steps farther. I work in the central office for Arkansas State Parks. I commute in, they see me change from super biker in the morning into Mr. Marketing and Revenue and then back at the end of the day. I don’t go to fill up water bottles until I am back in my gear.

    The other thing is I got the department psyched on building more mountain bike trails in the parks. This way I can sit with topo maps all day and say I’m working on the new trail system at XXX park.

    One more thing is I am now the go to guy for cycling video shoot in the tourism department. My job now includes helping film races and being a biker model.

    Oh, and btw, my wife can out ride most of you. My life ROCKS!!!!

  2. Amen to that brother!

    Joe from Arkansas, I feel like you and I are kindred spirits because not only did you understand this article, but you brought it to a higher level!

  3. RL – this is hilarious!

    I will try all the different things during next week… I’ll keep you posted!

    Thomas

  4. Thomas!

    Well well well, if it isn’t my favorite German! Thanks for the compliment, so how are things in Germany? How’s the site?

    I can no longer be my alter-ego “Kaiser” since I recently misplaced my super cool aviators…I know tragic isn’t it?

    RL

  5. Funny stuff!

    I used to fill my hydration pack at work. One day one of our nurses saw my water bladder and asked me if I was ok and if it was “colostomy bag”…

    Didnt need her spreading that rumor…

  6. Nothing gets the people at your office going than seeing you limping around on a Monday morning and when asked you say ‘I totally biffed going gonzo over some gnarly stuff mountain biking yesterday’…

    Mountain biking = bad boy = cool dude factor. Roadie + spandex = ho-hum… 🙂

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