We’ve all been there…you’re riding and you’ve got an urge to fart. Well if you’re over 40…don’t trust that fart! Why? Well for the simple reason of you being older. Your bung hole ins’t as tight as it was when you were younger. Plus you’re not as regular as you used to be. So that means you could still have some poop left over in your colon and when you fart…BOOM! It’s a SHART!
Nothing worse than having to clean out your riding shorts after trusting a fart…don’t even bother right? Just throw those $100 pair of shorts away. I’m sure you tried to hose off the skid marks..but sometimes those poop particles just stay within the padding.
Anyway, let’s get back to what we were talking about…farts at 40. Ya man, hold it in…or better yet, burp it out! I’m sure you know how to do that, right? What you do is this, when you feel the urge to fart, push it back in by doing a simple keigel exercise. This will allow your sphnicter to bounce the fart back up your intestines and you later burp it out. Try it…practice the keigel…did you burp?
One of the benefits of riding with close friends is the talk time you get. I’ve called it Therapy on Two Wheels. I’m not sure about you, I tend to ride with some of my best friends. These are the people who know me and my story like the back of their hand. One of my riding partners is The Moe. We’ve been friends for nearly 20 years. Our friendship actually started from mountain biking.
Throughout the years we’ve both gone through some challenging times. The Moe had to deal with a divorce about 10 years ago, and recently I had to deal with divorce. Those two events in our lives were…to say the least tougher than anything we’ve had to deal with.
Fortunately we had mountain biking to help us cope. The Moe and I would often schedule rides and for those two hours, we talk about all sorts of stuff. It starts off with the latest news with each other, new toys or gadgets we just bought. But a few more miles into it, the real stuff gets aired out.
What’s cool about Therapy on Two Wheels is that while you do get angry or frustration comes out about what you’re talking about. You can easly let out that energy to the pedals. Sometimes I just zone out and let it all go as I roll through the trail
After all that purging, there’s usually a peace that comes over you and allows you to take stock of how good life is. While bombing down the hills, I am usually smiling ear to ear and quenching all that angst as the cool air hits my pretty face.
So the next time you’re feeling stuff, need to vent or get a different perspective, try mountain biking with a good friend. You’ll find that talking through life stuff while riding is definitely helpful.
Let’s face it, mountain bikes aren’t cheap. I know guys that have dropped $5-$7k on a mountain bike. Each time I hear of it, I sorta cringe. You see I’m what you call a cheapskate, AKA BOB-Brother on a Budget. I come from no money and because I have three daughters, I still don’t have money. Any of the mountain bikes I’ve purchased are usually acquired through some extensive dealings to get a bro-discount. I make sure I try and pay at cost for a bike. If anything, having a used bike is the way to go. Just like cars, their resale value drops like a sledgehammer once they leave the showroom floor.
Not sure if you knew this, but I’m a huge motorcycle fan. I’ve bought and sold over 31 motorbikes in the past few years. It’s become a big hobby for me. I look for bargains or in some scenarios, a basket case and I’ll recondition and resell for a profit. I’ve gotten pretty good at it and out of all my dealings I can say I’ve only lost money 2 times. That loss only equates to about $50…but if you consider all the profit I make on all my other dealings, then I really didn’t take a loss.
Anyhow, when I heard some friends drop mad-cash on new bikes…my mind immediately goes through a thought process of “I could have bought a nice motorcycle for that!” Sometimes my mind ends up speaking on my behalf by blurting out…”DAAAANG!!!” Then I also think about how many months of rent that could pay or how many car payments that could take care of. I also think about how many tattoos can I get with that money?!
But hey, to each his own, right? I mean, you’re going to do what you think is best for you. For me, if I had $4k in my pocket, I’d probably find a mountain bike for about $1500, then use the rest to buy 1-2 motorcycles to flip so I can get a return on that cash I just spent.
His friends call him “Short Arm” Steve because he’s got short arms. He’s had a hard time finding a mountain bike that has a short top tube and a short stem. He’s been known to use a 25mm stem to help his reach problem.
Here’s Short Arm with his lady friend who doesn’t seem to mind his short comings…pun intended.
Short Arm almost gave up on mountain biking until he found a solution for short arm problems through an unconventional method. Back scratchers!
Short Arm Steve stated; “These back scratchers not only changed my riding life, but now I have more confidence to start racing this coming season. My wife also likes my back scratchers. Sometimes she wants me to scratch her back and that always seems to lead to some hot sex right afterwards!”
Let me get this out before you all start criticizing me. Cold for Southern California (SoCal) standards typically hovers around 40-50 degrees. So that means many mountain bikers in will be wearing jackets, arm/knee warmers and even ear coverings when temps drop. I’ve had various cold weather clothing but none of them come close to the versatility of a basic flannel shirt. Here’s a few points on why I prefer flannel shirts for cold weather riding.
1. They’re super affordable. On average, I’ve paid about $15 for my shirts. That’s a tremendous savings over cycling specific winter gear.
2. Pockets in the front! If I’m listening to my music, I usually keep my phone in the front pocket and I route the ear buds in between the buttons so they won’t dangle or get in the way.
3. Easy to layer. So what I do is use the flannel as my outer shell. I will wear a long sleeve jersey underneath when temps are between 50-60 degrees. This set up allows my body to stay cool and dry but not cold. So when I sweat, my long sleeve jersey wicks the moisture and the flannel allows just the right amount of air flow to keep my body temps comfortable.
4. Durable. Have you ever taken a spill while wearing a regular jersey? Often times jerseys don’t survive, they usually end up torn or shredded. In my experience, flannel is way more durable than a polyester jersey.
5. No special laundry rules. With jerseys, I usually will hang dry them to prevent shrinkage. With my flannels, I wash them like regular clothing.
6. Looks great! I know that wearing flannel isn’t for everyone. But for the most part wearing a jersey when you ride looks great! I’ve never been a fan of goofy loud jerseys. I like my riding gear to look like normal clothing. For me, I think flannels look great, they come in a variety of colors and because they’re so affordable, you can by 5 of them for the price of one cycling winter jacket. One more thing to add, you can wear them on and off the trails.
What’s great about flannel is that you look presentable enough to wear them on the trail and then wash them so you can wear them when you’re hanging out with your buddies for beers later that evening. Plus they go with any pair of jeans or shorts. I’m telling ya, flannels are a win-win kind of shirt!
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Yep that’s how my Saturday turned out. So without boring you with some lame details, here’s some pictures. But first, let me tell you about my Bro-Date with Art Aguilar. He’s so dreamy! We had some tacos by the beach.
Now that we have that out of the way, let’s talk about what I did. So ya, I hurt my back moving stuff the night before and I woke up with my back still aching. Oh sorry, I forgot that I said I’d spare the details, oh well. So let’s get to it. Since I wasn’t riding, I decided to spend some time in the garage. Pulled out the Retired Burt Reynolds. I had some parts laying around I figured, I’d build him back up again.
First thing to deal with was to remove the Plasti Dip that I put on a few months ago.
That whole process took me about an hour. Crazy how long it took. Actually I’m so A.D.D or ADHD…not quite sure which, but one of those, that I decided to leave some of it on the hard to reach places like the drop outs, and other nooks and crannies that the plastidip got into.
One of the things I like to do while working on my bikes is to smoke cigars. I didn’t feel like using up one of my premium ones, so I opted for a “daily smoke” cigar. I realized that a bike frame makes for a great cigar tender.
The Plasti Dip did a great job in preserving the paint on the frame.
Yep this is the same 1×10 drive train that came off the the Titus Rockstar. I didn’t want it to just sit there and gather dust.
Here’s how it looks now with the 1×10 and honestly, it looks like how it did before I dipped the bike.
For the kids that like to weigh everything, here’s the weight of Burt Reynolds. 25ish pounds.
Do you guys remember Spoke Beads? For the most part kids would be the ones sporting these beads on their bikes. But it got me thinking, this might be a great idea in helping people hear you on the trail. Just think about it, when you are on the trail, and you come up behind another rider, usually you’ll say “on your left” or ring your bell right? What if you installed beads on your bike to help generate noise while riding? Not only will this allow people to hear you, but shoot, it could even scare away some big animals that may be lurking near by.
Another thing to consider with beads is that you can customize the colors to match your bike. For example, if you have a red and black bike with black wheels, then adding red beads would put some flare to it. You can even string the beads onto your saddle or zippers to ad that extra customized look.
Check out this photo below of the “Bead Bike.” I can’t even imagine how many beads he used. My favorite part about this bike is the detail he put into it. Just look at the center, “The Bead Bike.” Heck I’m not even sure how he did all that and how long it must have taken him. All I know is, beads can certainly make your bike look unique. I know it’s not for everyone, but it sure is different, and if being different is your thing…then try beads!
I hope you all had a great weekend. I know we did. But before we go on with our ride report, I would like to take the time to thank all the men and women who have made the ultimate sacrifice in serving our country to protect our freedom. All of us at MtnBikeRiders.com thank you for everything you have done.
If I may, I’d like to WARN everyone that this following article is rich in photo content. So if you’ve got dial up…not sure why you would since WiFi is readily available through your neighbors…then you better grab a sandwich and a cold beer because it will take some time to load up all the pics from this weekend. Continue reading “Memorial Day Weekend”
They’re saying, “Hey tubby! I bet you can’t ride me….you’re too soft and pudgy to go fast on me…” You going to let the trail talk smack on you? Psssh don’t let it bully you! Get out there this weekend and RIDE!