I was just realized that men call their spandex cycling shorts…”spandex” and women will call them “tights.”
…and I think I know why!
Check this out, if you’re a dude, wearing tights/spandex is emasculating already. So men will look for ways to make the item sound less lady like and more manly. It’s kinda like calling Knickers, Capris…
When we think of tights/spandex we think of ballet people such as The Nut Cracker…horrible title.
We also think of Richard Simmons or some sort of dance like activity like modern dance. If you’re old enough to remember, it probably will bring thoughts of the TV show…”FAME!”
Once in a while you’ll hear men them “lycra.” But that’s just as bad since that’s just as gay as the previous name. It’s terrible men have to wear ballerina clothing just to ride their bikes, so I’m proposing a new name to spandex/lycra/tights….the new name will be!
“Chones”…thats right Chones. It’s pronounced “ch-o-(short O sound)-Nehs” It’s the same thing as what folks that speak Mexican call underwear. Yah you might as well call it underwear since its as tight as one and your package is there for the whole world to see. Besides, the Urban Dictionary describes Chones as: “nuts, nutsack, nadsack, nads, jewels, balls, scrotum, ball bag, bollocks…”It’s practically the same thing!
So with the new name, Chones…it already has a masculine sound to it. Say it with me…Chones…Doesn’t that sound WAY better than “spandex, lycra or tights?”….Chones….
Although my company does not give us the day off for Presidents Day, I decided to take a day off to spend sometime with my family. I was also able to squeeze in an early morning ride at the loop with Khoa.
No golf for me…
Anyhow, as we rode by the Fullerton Golf Course, there seemed to be more that an few people enjoying that ‘sport’.
Mountain biking for me!
This may sound silly, but I have an arthritic condition that does not enable me to play golf, but I can sure mountain bike, paintball and snowboard!
I have also switched the fork of my KHS Solo One to a modded Reba 100mm (thanks to Jer for the heavily discounted fork) and I’m sporting the new Rudy Project Rydon Sunglasses (more on that later on) and the Ergon Grips. Having front suspension has made the bike 20 times more fun to ride, why? I can now stop worrying about the ‘perfect’ line as I go downhill.
Too bad the rest of the crew couldn’t join us ‘cuz they had to work… This ride was for you.
Ok so I may have taken a sip of the Kool-Aid…but I haven’t drank the whole cup! So this article is about how I’m am not so sure that this whole 29er thing is all that great. Moe and I were talking about this the other day and he’s owned a few 29ers in his day. Me, I’ve ridden them enough to say…and Moe is with me on this, but we’re not completely sold on them.
Trek 69er…this bike is obviously confused! Kinda reminds me of Carlton from the Fresh Prince of BelAir or when a young boy can’t decide if he likes playing with his sister’s dolls more than playing army with his friends…simply can’t figure out what it needs to be….29er or 26er…aye…poor bike.
There’s a big argument that 29ers will create more momentum and all that jazz. Sure…But wouldn’t a guy that is over 6′ tall create the same momentum on a 26er when he’s going down the hill? We’ll use Jeremy for an example. The dude is over 6′, weighs somewhere around 275lbs…ok ok minus about 50lbs. Anyhow you’ve got this big giant that is riding a bike. His weight alone will cause momentum while going down a hill, right? So that theory is gone. Any bike whether its a 20″ bmx or those ginormous things called 29ers will create momentum when riding, especially if the rider is this massive Mexican that Jeremy is…
Sorry Tim, but you’re one of them, so I have to point you out…
Second argument that 29ers roll over things easier…WHY WOULD YOU ROLL OVER THE CURB OR A BIG ROCK!?! I don’t get it…when I roll up to a curb, I bunny hop! If there’s a ditch on the trail, I bunny hop! If there’s a big rock on the trail, I bunny hop! Sounds to me these 29er things were built for guys that can’t bunny hop over things…
This fella can’t bunny hop…thus a 29er bike…
My final point…29ers have yet to do anything cool. Those big honking wheels were not meant to do stunts like you see in New World Disorder, Roam or The Collective. Those wheels will TAC-OH if you drop them anything over 1 foot.
Oh one last thing…29ers mean more material, more paint, more WASTE! Aye…29ers are just a bad idea all together…bad for the rider, bad for the pocket and bad fort he environment….
(Ed. You know I’m just messing!)
I got myself a lion costume and…
jump out of the bushes to scare mountain bikers?
Usually this term is used for a guy that got his feeling hurt by one of his buddies. This normally happens if a group of friends go out for a ride, but forget to invite one guy…thus the forgotten fella is…”butt hurt.”
This happens quite often with men and bikes especially if they are riding in odd numbers. So for example, if there is a group of 5 guys riding, 2 people normally pair up while climbing a long hill or coasting down the fire road talking about bikes, wife, kids, work, life and what ever. So that means 4 of the guys riding are talking to each other, but one guy…normally either in the front of the pack or the last guy of the group doesn’t have anyone to talk to, thus they get “butt hurt.”
Another fine example is this…a certain mountain biking website hosts a contest for free gear…let’s just use grips as an example. Reader A wins, we congratulate him, do a post talking about how he won. But Reader B(B for butt) sends out his bitterness in a form of a comment with words like…“All I have to say is… I hate you! You are all evil! Evil, evil people! I knew they were not clipless! UUhhhgg!”
Even though the handsome Editor tries to make peace with Bitter Butt Hurt Reader B, by saying…“Sorry dude…We sent Reader A an email notifying him of his win, but if he doesn’t get back to me, I’ll let you know.”
But its too late, Butt Hurt has set in…as Reader B says…“It’s cool dude… I’m just playin’ around.” Though he tries to sound like he wasn’t hurt, this image portray how he really feels….
There’s no real cure or preventative measure for Butt Hurt. However, if you’ve experience butt hurt before, you’re more likely to have more episodes of it…