Boss Man RL is going for the big 2-9 today… or was that the 3-9… awwww fuhgedboutit.
Boss Man RL is turning a year older today. Not only does he have the best mountain biking blog known to mankind, RL is also a great family man and friend. We can all attest that we are better for having known RL.
Thanks for the blog, thanks for the mountain biking and most importantly thanks for the friendship. Happy Birthday, RL!!
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As you may have figured it out, I am a huge fan of my Pink Tuxedo Jersey. Well check out what The Sweet Cakery made for my birthday.
Here I am matching with the cake,
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Is this your view every time you ride?
I’m sure you’ve heard the saying “If you want to ride faster, ride with fast people.” Ya that’s sorta true, but dude, that’s a ton of work! So my solution, find SLOW people to ride with. That way you’ll be the faster one of the group! You can usually find newbies who are first starting out in the sport at a local trail head. Just tag along with them and you instantly will be the faster, if not the FASTEST rider in the group. Check out how The Moe uses this technique. Notice he’s around some slower riders…yes slower than The Moe. But look how fast he is compared to them!
So forget riding with faster people to get faster, too much work! Just find slower people to ride with, so much easier. Try it out, I guarantee you’ll be the fastest in your next group ride.
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Usually when we set up rides, we’ll send out emails to see who can make it. At that time we’ll determine what schedule works out best for everyone. There have been occasions where we’ve had to roll out in 2 separate groups just to accommodate everyone. Well yesterday’s ride was no exception. We had Doc Thunda who set up the ride for 6ish but found out Cousin Joe was possibly going to ride around 4ish. So this created an internal battle within Doc because he really wanted to ride with the regular folks but he has really missed Cousin Joe, so he wanted to ride with him….he kept saying to himself…”Do I ride with the slow people or do I ride with Cousin Joe?! Ugh…FML!”
Eventually Doc decided to ride with Cousin Joe because he said, “I’ve got a very important chat room meeting at 6pm that I can’t miss. Our topic of discussion; ‘How to show affection to our cats.’ and I can’t miss that!” Priscilla and I were running late because we were getting a door way put into our ceiling so we can go to Narnia when ever we want. We ended up sticking with our 6ish ride schedule.
However, when we arrived at the trail, we saw Doc, Cousin Joe and Khoa waiting for us…aww how sweet they waited! I asked Doc how come he didn’t ride earlier with Cousin Joe, Doc said, “Well the chat room meeting was not what I expected, when they said CAT, I thought it was for my CAT…and nothing else. These sickos in the chat room were talking about….aye nevermind, I was so disappointed!”
Off to the trail we go and we’re riding at a pretty good clip. Doc kept on pushing us like a personal trainer by getting behind and saying, “C’Mon slow poke! Hurry up already! Let’s Go Let’s GO!!!!” This motivational speaking got us…uh…motivated to ride faster and harder.
Here’s a prime example of Doc giving us a speech. In this photo you’ll see he get’s behind a rider and starts motivating them. You actually won’t be able to see it, but on the right side of Doc, he’s got a mini bull horn in which he uses to bark out his encouraging words.
Look how happy Cousin Joe is, that motivational thing Doc did was working.
I rode the Soma Double Cross DC and I gotta tell you, if it wasn’t for Doc’s words, I never would have made it up the hills, thanks Doc for pushing us!
Anyway, we ended our ride at our favorite taco-ish place and had much needed adult beverages…a Pepsi! Doc took this pic of me, I thought I looked like a gangsterish THUG but if anything I looked homeless.
By the way, when I got home, waiting for me was a copy of Bicycling magazine. Inside was the dumbest ad EVER made. It’s an ad for an indoor stationary bike that supposed to mimic TDF courses…Cool, but my question is, why is the guy wearing a helmet? That in my book is what the young kids are now calling a…”FAIL”
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In the unfortunate event that you are forced to protect yourself and your property from trail thugs, knowing how to do so properly can literally mean the difference of you going out for burritos after your ride or being taken away on a stretcher. Below we will demonstrate some basic Trail Thug Fighting Techniques…or TTFT. I will be playing the role of a Trail Thug since Thugs are known to wear flannel shirts and argyle socks. My buddy, Ben will play the role of Mr. Mountain Biking Victim.
1. Punch to the FACE (with the rear tire) This technique can be easily executed if you have some sort of upper body strength. A quick blow to the Thug’s face can either knock him out or at least give you enough time to get away and get some rocks or a stick to finish him off.
2.Nut Cracker. After applying the rear wheel to the face, your next move is to shove your front wheel into the Thug’s nuts. There’s really not much else to say, a shot to the nuts will stop anyone!
3. Say Hello to my Lil’ Friend. After the nut shot, the Thug will fall down to the ground, and this is when you show him how heavy your bike is by repeatedly hitting him with it. This is also a great time to repeatedly say to the Thug, ” You want a piece of me?! Huh Punk?!!! You want a piece of ME!” Doing so will ensure that the Thug knows you now have the upper hand.
4. Anaconda SQUEEZE! This move basically uses the front wheel to choke out the Thug. You only release a little bit of the pressure when he either says, “Uncle” or when he starts gurgling because he can’t breath.
One final tip, if you’re wearing knee/elbow pads, use it to your advantage. While the Thug is down, throw a few elbows, and knees to his ribs. Just remember, you’re wearing pads, so you won’t get hurt! I sure hope you have enjoyed our guide for the TTFT, remember you can do all these things if you simply say, “I was doing it in self-defense.” (you may actually want to consult your lawyer about that.)
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