Lacking in social skills?
Are you an Emo, a computer nerd or someone that lacks in social skills? If you said yes to any of those, then you’re in luck! MtnBikeRiders.com has a proven system on how you can evolve from a social looser to a social bug in the mountain biking community.
Here’s how! All you have to do is ride your mountain bike. You also need to follow a few steps below, then you’ll be on your way to being the life of the party, the talk of the town and the cream of the crop.
1. Smile all the time. No matter how tough the climb is, smiling will give other riders around you the impression that you are super cool.
2. Say hi to everyone you see on the trail, even the guys in Spandex. Cuz’ those guys need love too.
3. Join as many group rides as possible. You should even consider riding with people that have alternative lifestyles. I’m sure they’ll recruit you, rather than shooting down the proposition, consider it. You never know, it maybe something you may enjoy…
4. Carry 6 tubes and 6 packets of Gu in your hydration pack. Flat tires and bonked out riders are usually in need of assistance. If you see a rider who has a flat, offer them a tube. If you see a rider having a hard time on the ride, offer them a Gu. Take advantage of those gestures and start up a conversation….”I see you have a flat…” “You look like you need a gel.” Since these people are indebted to you, they’ll feel obligated to keep you company or carry on a conversation with you. Take advantage of this time and discuss a topic about anything. But don’t get into details about Star Wars, Computer stuff, or jokes only people that play World of Warcraft would understand…mmkay Artard!
5. One of the most important things in becoming social is to ask the right questions that would make the other person have to respond in detail. So if a person has a red bike, don’t say, “Hey you got a red bike, do you like red?” No! You don’t do that because you’re not supposed to ask a question where their answer will only be with a yes or no. If that person has a red bike, take notice about other details about their bike…”I see you have a sticker of a squirrel with extremely large balls…, can you tell me more about it?
6. Hang out in as many bike shops as you can. This move will help you get noticed by local riders. When they see you at the trail, they’ll say, “Hey, isn’t that the guy that always hangs out at XYZ Bike Shop?”
7. Last step to becoming more social, drink beer. It doesn’t matter what a person’s occupation, religion or sexual preference, beer is something that brings people together. So after you meet a few people on the trail, offer them a beer after the ride. Nothing is better than a cold fresh beer after a hot long ride. Carry a cooler of good beer…none of that cheap 18 pack for $5.99 junk. You have to get stuff like Blue Moon, Fat Tire and Guinness. You show any beer drinking guy a pint, then they’ll become your new buddy and will invite you to the the next group ride or social event.
I hope this little how to has helped inspire you to get out there and make new friends. The MtnBikeRiders.com Staff and Race Team always practice what you read and you know what, people are drawn to it and we often meet new riders on a weekly basis. Go on, try it, it works!
1. They can only see you smile if they pass you on a climb. Only a pussy gets passed.
2. Sorry, I’ll be going too fast to say “hi” to everybody. But that’s because I have huge balls and need to wear spandex.
3. If you agree with this one, it’s because you agreed with number 1 and 2 and live in California.
4. Hydration pack? Gel? stop and help a lamer? Who the hell wrote this? some liberal f***t Hussein Obama supporter that lives in California? Grow a set already!
5. And the answer would be “yeah, you are the squirrel and these are my balls on your chin!”
6. Hang out at my bike shop and I’ll kick your ass! We don’t like liberal freeloading welfare Obama supporting f***ts hanging out freeloading acting as it they are entitled to something they didn’t earn.
7. Blue Moon and Guinness in the same sentence labeled as “good beer” should be a felony! I’m surprised you didn’t add a slice of orange with that Blue Moon.
This article is a little light in the loafers.
Peace.
Randy,
What’s your hang up about California? What’s wrong with Blue Moon and Guiness? Man we were making Black and Tans after our DH races here in sunny California.
Obama…I didn’t vote for him, but I like the guy just because he’s BLACK…ya I said it.
Spandex eh…girls where those when they don’t want guys to see their panties when wearing a skirt…
Freeloading? Hmm Welfare is awesome. How do you expect a bunch of illegals to make it in this country…
You mention balls quite a bit, I figure you’re into them
Thanks for your comments!
You forgot–yell out ‘Hey fart face!’
Dial Tone…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Good lookin’ out!
Randy,
You mentioned balls twice. Suggests to me that you’ve got a bit of a hangup – maybe you should go sit on your boyfriend’s cock a little longer to get all that negative energy out of you.
Why post such stupid drivel about a silly, yet well-written article that pokes fun at the macho bullcrap which pervades modern mountain biking? Are you really afraid of something, like getting shown up out there?
Are liberals too stupid to understand sarcasm?
@Randy
Since when is HATE funny? Save your political agenda for yourself, this site is about mountain biking and how it brings people together despite of race, gender, religion and political views. You obviously don’t get it.
Randy, after reading your comments, I sure didn’t get any sarcasm out of it…it sounded like the rant of an angry, undereducated “sad sack”.
Lame (not to mention vaguely racist) attempts at sarcasm qualify as “stupid drivel” in my book, too. You’re a jerk.
Ya man, you came across like a major douche bag.
RL, I need your help! I am a Baja motorcycle racer and my team and I swear by the Red Rock gloves. However, all of the Walmarts in the Imperial Valley dont carry them anymore.
I did a google key word search for Red Rock gloves and your info came up.
Do you have an email address?
Thanks,AP-Calexico,Ca.