Wake Up Mother Cluckers!

I don’t know about you, but caffeine in the form of coffee has been my go-to drink when it comes to waking up. I usually go with coffee because it’s a natural high. Most energy drinks have synthetic caffeine, though they work fast and get the job done, the crash is a bit harsher than what I would desire. Prior to a ride, I usually will drink a cup of coffee about an hour before I get on the saddle. I say an hour because there’s a good chance I’ll need to take a dump soon after drinking coffee.

Oh after you take a dump, make sure you wipe good or use a wipey…having left over toilet paper on your butthole is super uncomfortable during rides…feels like sand! Anyhow, I’ve always loved coffee and I even worked in the coffee business for a few years. I was doing the digital marketing for a coffee roaster. Soon after I left that job, I found myself having to buy coffee, before it was free, I could take home as much as I wanted.

Being subjected to stale coffee from the grocery store, I decided to start roasting my own. I learned quite a bit while working at the roaster. I knew about brightness, types of beans, flavor profiles, 1st crack, city roast and etc. At first I tried my luck with a popcorn maker. Yes you can roast coffee with an airpopper, just google it. Once I decided on my profiles, I sold one of my beloved scooters to fund my newest toy, an actual coffee roaster! Yup, this was my gateway into roasting great coffee. I had to learn how to roast on my new machine and once I figured it all out, I decided to launch Cock Coffee Roaster. Get this, it’s really GOOD coffee! I only use 100% Specialty Grade Arabica Beans, that means I’m roasting some hight quality stuff.

You know what they say, don’t get high on your own stuff…well I’m breaking that rule because my coffee is good! Anyhow, I’m curious to know what you guys use to pre-game a ride? Coffee, Redbull, 5Hour Energy, Crack?

About the author

RL Policar is an avid mountain biker and the Editor In-Chief of MtnBikeRiders.com and BikeCommuters.com. Between the two sites, he's published well over 4,000 articles (and growing).