Don’t trust a fart when you’re over 40

don't trust a fart mtnbikeriders.com

We’ve all been there…you’re riding and you’ve got an urge to fart. Well if you’re over 40…don’t trust that fart! Why? Well for the simple reason of you being older. Your bung hole ins’t as tight as it was when you were younger. Plus you’re not as regular as you used to be. So that means you could still have some poop left over in your colon and when you fart…BOOM! It’s a SHART!

Nothing worse than having to clean out your riding shorts after trusting a fart…don’t even bother right? Just throw those $100 pair of shorts away. I’m sure you tried to hose off the skid marks..but sometimes those poop particles just stay within the padding.

Anyway, let’s get back to what we were talking about…farts at 40. Ya man, hold it in…or better yet, burp it out! I’m sure you know how to do that, right? What you do is this, when you feel the urge to fart, push it back in by doing a simple keigel exercise. This will allow your sphnicter to bounce the fart back up your intestines and you later burp it out. Try it…practice the keigel…did you burp?

 

Therapy on two wheels

The Moe and RL of MtnBikeRiders.com

One of the benefits of riding with close friends is the talk time you get. I’ve called it Therapy on Two Wheels. I’m not sure about you, I tend to ride with some of my best friends. These are the people who know me and my story like the back of their hand. One of my riding partners is The Moe. We’ve been friends for nearly 20 years. Our friendship actually started from mountain biking.

Throughout the years we’ve both gone through some challenging times. The Moe had to deal with a divorce about 10 years ago, and recently I had to deal with divorce. Those two events in our lives were…to say the least tougher than anything we’ve had to deal with.

The Moe and RL
The day I was going to sign my divorce papers. I needed to go on a ride just tone down my anxiety.

Fortunately we had mountain biking to help us cope. The Moe and I would often schedule rides and for those two hours, we talk about all sorts of stuff. It starts off with the latest news with each other, new toys or gadgets we just bought. But a few more miles into it, the real stuff gets aired out.

What’s cool about Therapy on Two Wheels is that while you do get angry or frustration comes out about what you’re talking about. You can easly let out that energy to the pedals.  Sometimes I just zone out and let it all go as I roll through the trail

After all that purging, there’s usually a peace that comes over you and allows you to take stock of how good life is. While bombing down the hills, I am usually smiling ear to ear and quenching all that angst as the cool air hits my pretty face.

So the next time you’re feeling stuff, need to vent or get a different perspective, try mountain biking with a good friend. You’ll find that talking through life stuff while riding is definitely helpful.

Local mountain biker late to the Fat Tire Bike Fad

Gravity Deadeye Single Speed Fat Tire Bike

42-year-old mountain biker finally gets on the fat tire bike fad with his purchase of a new single speed fat tire bike. These types of bikes have been around for quite some time and people who live in non-snowy areas have gotten them too. Ya sure they’re gimmicky and they look fun, but this fad…well, it’s a fad. There are plenty of brands who offer fat tire bikes, but the thing is, these bikes aren’t their biggest sellers. People still love their XC or Enduro/Trail bikes. Heck, even the E-bike craze is starting to become more popular than the fatties. But don’t quote me on that, it’s not like I have scientific data. It’s a matter of what I see on the trail

single speed fat tire mountain bike mtnbikeriders.com

With that said, we’ll wait around and see how long he’ll keep this bike. When asked why he bought one, he said: “Well truthfully, I got caught up in a bidding war on eBay…and guess what, I won.” But did he really win?

All done…almost!

Ok kids, I now present to you the world famous…BURT REYNOLDS…again!

Here he is in all his glorified glorehh! You like his new bars? Those are the On-One Midge bar. I think I bought the last one since I checked this morning, they were out of stock.
redline d600 burt reynolds

This bar tape you see, it’s the On-One Micro Fiber Bar Tape. Easy to install, comfy on the hands, legit on the looks. The tape it self makes the bike look uber-fierce.
on one bar tape

I say that it’s almost done because I’m having chain skipping issues. Could be the chain I’m using because the line is perfect. Basically what happens is when its on the stand, it works fine. But as soon as I put pressure on the pedals, it skips.

Want a peak?

Don’t worry I won’t call you a peeping tom….Anyhow, do you remember the other day I posted some sort of Surly Singulator and a cog? Well here’s a sneak peak on what I’ve got going on. Here is Burt Reynolds in all his awkwardly gloriness!

Behold! A very confusing looking 29er mtb that sorta looks like a cross bike but not really.
burt reynolds redline d600

Before I go on with the build progress, let me fill you in on some history about this build. You see, the other day, our very own Adam Spik and I were working on LadyP’s new Titus Rockstar. I mentioned that I wanted to sell my 10speed shifters, derailleur and cog since I just wasn’t a fan of it. He said he’d take them. I told him that we should just do a trade. My 10speed Saint stuff for any single speed parts he has. You’re probably thinking that he made out in this trade, ya probably, but he’s a homie and homies help homies. Anyhow with this trade I received a Surly Single Speed kit, Tektro Mechanical Disc Brakes and rotors as well as a couple of cogs. Well now that I think about it, I may have gotten the better end of the deal.

Ok, let’s go back to the main reason why we’re here. We’re you wondering why it’s missing a front tire? Well the other day I was watching that show Hoarders Buried Alive and that got me motivated to do some spring cleaning in my garage. I’m actually what you call a Bike Hoarder. I’ve got well over 15 bicycles in my garage and shelves of bike parts. So I make myself watch Hoarders to keep me in check. Apparently I may have inadvertently thrown out my front tire and tube during my TV-Inspired surge of cleaning since I didn’t want to be a hoarder. So now I’m sourcing a new tire…

Right, now that you see what I’ve got going on, there’s already a few changes that I’ve made to this configuration. First up, I ordered me some Midge Bars and a luxurious set of micro fiber bar tape from Planet X.Why the Midge? Well just look at it! It’s bad ass. Besides the shallow/flared out drops allow for better control and leverage.
midge bar planet x
I’ve also swapped out the stem for something shorter, I’ve got short arms so it doesn’t make sense for me to be all stretched out on the bike.

I do have to thank Jack “Ghost Rider” Sweeney for donating the set of Tektro drop brake levers to this build. He did have a concern that they wouldn’t have enough leverage to work with the mechanical brakes I had. Fortunately, they were a matching brand and actually provided all the reach that I need to ensure proper stopping power.

So for now that’s where this project is at. I’ve bee subjected to waiting for parts once again. However, once I get those things in, I’m hoping to get Burt Reynolds back on the trail in no time!

Why oh why do I like to torture myself…

So there I was in my garage looking at the bare frame of a machine that I once belovedly(not sure if that’s a word) called…(say it with a deep voice) BURT REYNOLDS. I was saddened that it just hung there on a hook, not being used. I started having flash backs of the fun filled rides we had together. How we rode some of the toughest hills and how he never broke down on me and how he simply would make me smile every time I rode him…wait…that sounds too much of a bromance. Well if that’s what it’s called, then call me guilty!

Anyhow, I got this idea to reinvent Burt Reynolds once again with parts laying around. So here’s the first clue on what I plan on doing with him….
burt reynolds

Ok by now you should have guessed he’ll be a single speed once again. But not just a single speed…a different type! Yep. If my plans fall into place, I should have a very unique Burt Reynolds by next week!

We’ve got another build project going on. This time it’s going to be hard…

Hard as in hard tail. Rigid to be exact! Check out the Soma Juice 29er.

Soma Juice 29er

Pretty water bottle mounts. I like added touches like that, brings a level of class to a frame.
Did I mention that it’s steel? Yep!
Beefy steel fork.

Soma provided the frame, seat collar, fork, headset and stem.

Dang forks looks so burly!

Slider dropouts give me the option to go single speed at a later date. I may just take them up on that offer.

The build plan basically has a budget in mind. I don’t plan on spending any money on it. I’ve got some newish 1×10 drive train parts that I’m planning on using as well as an WTB i9 wheel set.  The build itself shouldn’t take long. We’re planning on having it done by next week.

Hurt my back, no ride, got bored and built up a bike

Yep that’s how my Saturday turned out. So without boring you with some lame details, here’s some pictures. But first, let me tell you about my Bro-Date with Art Aguilar. He’s so dreamy! We had some tacos by the beach.
Art McDreamy Aguilar

Now that we have that out of the way, let’s talk about what I did. So ya, I hurt my back moving stuff the night before and I woke up with my back still aching. Oh sorry, I forgot that I said I’d spare the details, oh well. So let’s get to it. Since I wasn’t riding, I decided to spend some time in the garage. Pulled out the Retired Burt Reynolds. I had some parts laying around I figured, I’d build him back up again.

First thing to deal with was to remove the Plasti Dip that I put on a few months ago.
burt reynolds
That whole process took me about an hour. Crazy how long it took. Actually I’m so A.D.D or ADHD…not quite sure which, but one of those, that I decided to leave some of it on the hard to reach places like the drop outs, and other nooks and crannies that the plastidip got into.
plastidip bicycle
One of the things I like to do while working on my bikes is to smoke cigars. I didn’t feel like using up one of my premium ones, so I opted for a “daily smoke” cigar. I realized that a bike frame makes for a great cigar tender.
cigar and bicycles
The Plasti Dip did a great job in preserving the paint on the frame.

Yep this is the same 1×10 drive train that came off the the Titus Rockstar. I didn’t want it to just sit there and gather dust.

Here’s how it looks now with the 1×10 and honestly, it looks like how it did before I dipped the bike.

For the kids that like to weigh everything, here’s the weight of Burt Reynolds. 25ish pounds.

The “Who’s idea was this” Race Report

Before we get on with my race report, I’d like to give you some background on how I got into this mess. You see a few months ago I started doing really well at XC. Allot of it had to do with the fact that I was riding a really fast bike, the Airborne Goblin 29er. With my new found confidence on two wheels I some how convinced myself that I should give XC racing a try. My racing background has primarily been in DH and I figured racing XC would take me out of my comfort zone as well as make it a challenge. Good attitude to have, right?
Airborne Goblin
Fast forward to 02/23/2013, I somehow convinced team racer, Art Aguilar to join me on the condition MtnBikeRiders.com sponsors his race fee. He was riding LadyP’s Airborne Hobgoblin for the event.
airborne hobgoblin9
Oh and guess who else I was able to convince to race with us. Our very own Albacore!
Albacore of MtnBikeRiders.com
I almost forgot, Super Dan was there too! But he was going to tackle the Super D event. Don’t you just love how he color coordinate’s his jersey with everything on his bike…and his cell phone case!
Super Dan
Now I don’t have any actual race photos of any of us since we were…racing. But I managed to snap a picture of my results as well as Art’s. By the way we both entered as Beginners.
IMG_5554
Low and behold we got medals! I took 4th in my category and Art took 3rd!
IMG_5571
Did you all notice that Art and I matched our outfits! We certainly got compliments from people who could appreciate a sweet looking jersey.
pink tuxedo
Here’s our rigs that we used to get to our medals. The Airborne Goblin and the Airborne Hobgoblin.
Airborne 29ers
While we were waiting for the awards ceremony, we met up with Olympic BMXer and Airborne Bicycles Racer, Barry Nobles. He was on the new Airborne Toxin 7″ bike.
Airborne Toxin
Barry was kind enough to let Art check it out.
Airborne Toxin
Here’s a shot of the rear linkage. I probably should taken it from the other side to get a better view.
Airborne Toxin
So there you have it my XC ride report. I guess you can say it was my idea to do it. As tough as it was, both Art and I agreed it was pretty rewarding to race. We felt great after and heck you never know, this XC racing thing could grow on me. As I headed home, Art was pulling double duty and went out to go practice the DH course on his Taka.
IMG_5547

Something bugging me…

One of my pet peeves in life is lack of effort. I can’t stand it when people see an opportunity or challenge and don’t even bother trying. I’ll give you a bike related scenario, I was just at 2 different bicycle shops in my immediate area and I walked in looking for a frame within a certain budget. Shop #1 told me with an arrogant tone that there’s no way I can get frame for that price and recommended that I just save up my money and put it towards a new bike. I explained to the guy that this was not the direction I wanted to go. So I asked, “are you guys a Santa Cruz dealer?” He hesitantly says yes and follows it up with, “ya we really don’t do too much with them but if we HAVE to, we can order something.” So I tell them that I know for a fact (because another shop quoted me a price, but they are a bit further away) that the SC Superlight was around my budget. He then says, “Ya that’s cool…but we don’t have anything in stock that would be in the same price range. You’re better off going to Jenson USA or something like that.” WHOA whoa WHOA! Did I just hear an LBS tell me to go ONLINE to find what I’m looking for? Don’t LBS people complain all the time how people SHOULD buy from their LBS to help support them? At that point, I just said my goodbyes and was super disappointed with the lack of effort the kid made.

So I drive off to shop #2 and I ask them the same question. The sales rep gave me the reaction that Don would have had from Napoleon Dynamite…

Then he goes on to tell me that Trek carbon XC frames start at over $2k…annoyed I walked away. Like I said, lack of effort is something that REALLY bugs me. I’ll be honest, I shouldn’t be too surprised because I’ve been to these shops before and have had the same experience. What am I going to do now? I mentioned earlier that another shop, though further, has offered me a SC Superlight within my budget. Unfortunately, that one in particular just got sold. But here’s where EFFORT comes in, the gentleman who I am dealing with put in a call with SC to see if they have any other frames available and he’s checking their inventory for another frame that would suit my needs. See…that’s what I’m talking about, EFFORT!