Reinventing MtnBikeRiders.com, I hope you’re ready!

Humor Main Mountain Biking Nonsense

Every so often we get people that recognize us on the trails or send us emails with kind words that basically says “you guys are great!” Our readers seem to love the fact that we’re regular guys and gal that have a passion for riding and that we still get ooh’d and ahh’d by cycling celebs like Gary Fisher ,Tom Ritchey, Joe Breeze, Biker Fox and so on. All in all, we’re down to earth people…and our readers like that.

But as of today that will no longer exist! That’s right, we’re reinventing MtnBikeRiders.com and we’re kicking out the old ways of doing things and start becoming more arrogant, pretentious, and bad ass. That’s right no longer are the days where we wait for slower riders in our group rides…no! We’re leaving everyone behind! We’re also giving up smiling. Smiling is way over rated and as I write this, I’m not smiling. Smiling is for sissies, its for people that can’t wipe their own butts. We’re not smiling anymore on our ride photos, pictures at Interbike, Sea Otter or any other events. Nope, we’re just doing the no smile look…cuz it gives us the image that we’re too cool to smile.

Here’s Moe practicing the “No Smile” look…

What we’re going to do is become the Bad Boyz of Bicycle Blogging! Think of it as the Rock Racing of Blogs. We’re starting off this new campaign by providing MANDATORY Aviator Glasses for all MtnBikeRiders staff.

We’re also telling the staff to shave off any arm, leg and neck hair. Nothing says weak and slow than too much hair. Oh another thing we’re doing is getting a MANDATORY hair cut. All men on staff are now required to have no longer than a #1 hair cut. So that means everyone is buzzing it all off…plus they have to grow sideburns…just cuz its cool!

We’ve also bought each staffer a 6 pack of Wine Coolers to help them get accustomed to the hoity toity lifestyle we’re hoping to achieve.

We’re also in the process of purchasing our first company vehicle…a Unimog! Cuz a Unimog is all about “being all up in yo’ bidness!”This vehicle will only seat two, but that basically means that the I’ll be driving, Priscilla in the front seat and the rest of the staff will have to rough it in the back. That’s ok, they can handle it! The Unigmog will be used as our “go-to” vehicle…meaning Go To Sea Otter, Go To Crankworx, Go To Whistler, Go To Interbike and Go To get beer.
unimog

Since we’re not holding back on making all these changes, I’ve made arrangements with KHS Bicycles to provide the staff their newest 08 XC bikes…the XCT 555. This bike represents everything that we are all about…sexy, classy, and tough…

Oh and one last thing, all staff is required to grow a thick mustache, even Priscilla! Though my attempt last month didn’t go so well, I’ve implemented an incentive program that will pay each staffer $650 once start looking like this guy. Who is he? I dunno, I found his picture in Flickr, but he’ll be our mustache standard!

These changes or reinvention to the staff and sites have been implemented as of yesterday and we hope that you will enjoy the new and improved MtnBikeRiders.com. Even if you don’t…I don’t care! (shrugging my shoulders)

Ok ok,..you got me! I’m just messing around. I must have a man-crush on the whole Rock Racing look and attitude…Man those guys look mega-cool! Don’t worry, we’re not going to get a Unimog or not smile…but the mustache will stay…

RL Policar

RL Policar is an avid mountain biker and the Editor In-Chief of MtnBikeRiders.com and BikeCommuters.com. Between the two sites, he's published well over 4,000 articles (and growing).

https://www.mtnbikeriders.com

20 thoughts on “Reinventing MtnBikeRiders.com, I hope you’re ready!

  1. So, you’ve got a man-crush on a bunch of douchebags, eh? For shame, for shame…

    The Unimog is everything a Hummer isn’t — don’t be badmouthing the ‘Mog!!! Unlike a Hummer, the ‘Mog can run on used vegetable oil. It’s been my dream vehicle ever since I lived in Germany as a child.

  2. Dude,

    I can picture my man crush on Rock Racing…just imagine a drunk beating his wife, calls 911, but can’t send him away because she loves him….yeah…something like that.

    I’m not ball busting on the Uni, my step bro had one. Coolest things ever!

  3. everyone will smile like victoria beckham and look like ned flanders. i think that guy with the ‘stache was real life ned flanders.

  4. Nice ideas, guys! The Unimog rocks, but I think that Priscilla will have some trouble with her moustache…
    Anyway, are you going to post a test on the KHS XCT555? I’m very interested in one but would like to read something about the way it rides.

  5. . That’s right no longer are the days where we wait for slower riders in our group rides…no! We’re leaving everyone behind! I thought you guys were the slower riders?? At least when i was there HA HA !! j/k You guys are pretty fast going down hill.

  6. Moe and I are what you call “managers that cultivate the staff.” Basically we have to sand bag it to encourage the rest of the crew to ride faster. If we were ride at our “normal” pace, they wouldn’t be able to keep up….

    It’s a management technique…

  7. Hey Vince, I was actually excited that I was able to ride most of the 7th street uphill, the Alite Team is a superbe climbing machine!

  8. Thanks a lot, Lance! That’s exactly the kind of bike that I’m looking for. I’m going to see one in the LBS tomorrow.

  9. “Vince,

    I do remember our Loop ride, you were on a SS and I on a geared….you’re one fast Puerto Rican!”

    R.L.,

    Puerto Rico is a small island, US territory just off of the coast of the Dominican Republic. This IS NOT where my ancestors came from.

    I am what you can refer to as a “BEANER”. I am an American of Mexican descent. AND with all the time spent at the track, I am proud to call myself a B-M-Xican!

    Thank you.

    Vince R: KHS M.I.C. (Mexican In Charge)

  10. My apologies Messican In Charge, Puerto Ri-can and Messi-can rhymed so it must of been a slip of the tongue…MIC…I like “Messican In a Chevy” better

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