Off topic: Brewmaster Fail

My passions include bikes, cars, motorcycles and drinking beer, but let me make it clear that I never ride or drive while having had a few beers, that is what Uber is for.

Since RL’s Xmas budget is not big enough for bikes, cars or motorcycles, he decided to give me the next best thing: A Mr. Beer Kit. Yup, I can make my own beer! After checking a few videos online and having read the instructions, it would take roughly a month to make my own beer. Screw that, I opted to go to the market and bought some that were already made.

Time went by and the kit sat in a little corner of my dining room, always reminding me of RL’s kindness and that it was time to go back to the market and get some more beer. So one day my wife caught me looking at the kit and finally put her foot down and told me that it was time for me to make the beer or store the kit downstairs in the little dungeon where my Christmas decorations wait an entire year to get used again. Fine I said, so I grabbed the kit, read the instructions and headed to the market to buy the most necessary ingredient: Water.

So I went thru the steps: Clean the barrel, heat the Hopped Malt Extract, add water to the barrel, add the Extract and then add the yeast. Easy enough, now I had to store the barrel away from light for about two weeks so the fermentation can take place.

Once the fermentation was completed, it was time to bottle the “beer”. This process took longer than what I was expected, I had to sanitize all the bottles, dry them and finally fill them. Once the bottles were filled, it was time to add some sugar to the beer so it can carbonate. Now it was time for the beer to seat another couple of weeks for additional fermentation and carbonation.

I was really confident at this point, I did everything by the book so I was rather excited to taste the final product. I placed a couple of bottles in the fridge and once the cooled, I took them to RLs to try out.

Interestingly enough, RL liked the beer, although I thought he was way too kind. I’m no beer connoisseur but I know when a beer tastes like crap; and mine did. It was flat, sugary and had a funny taste. I’m not sure where I went wrong, but I think it was somewhere at the end… my beer had no fizzle so the carbonation step was a total failure.

The nice thing about this kit is that it is re-usable, all I need to do is buy another can of the Malt extract refill and I should be ready to go. Come to think of it, screw this, I’m gonna go to the market and get some beer….